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Thread: Family

  1. #16
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    Dearest Ann
    I was so very sorry to read your news. Knowing you are having to come to grips with the sadness without even the physical support of your mother and family seems so unkind. Hugs, tears and time together are such an important part of what your mother is walking through, especially for those closest to her heart. I pray your health will return leaving you even stronger. Hopefully you will then have resistance and be less likely to be ill when you need each other even more. I will continue to lift you in prayer as the days flow.
    Patsy

  2. #17
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    I spent the morning with my Mom. It was good timing because most of the Texas relatives have gone home and will return.

    She says that the doctors have told her that they she has until the Christmas holidays. We have been told 2-3 weeks.

    She is in good spirits as long as company is around. She says strange things, like when my sister offered to turn her bed light off, she said that she told her Dad to leave it on. Since Daddy has been dead for many years, we just looked at each other and my eyebrows went up in the way that they do when I am in awe.

    I am okay, and I have no fear that my Mom is ready but does not truly understand. At least, she seems to have no fear. She just doesn't like not being able to do for herself. This was quite sudden. That is the hardest part for her. She says, "Ann, it is pitiful that I can't even manage to move enough to go to the bathroom." I said, "It's okay, Mama. I understand, but we can help."

    She really doesn't know that she is going so quickly... None of us knew..
    Ann B.
    Zone 9a
    Gulf Coast


  3. #18
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    Ann,

    I am so happy you were able to spend time with your Mom and I pray you will again have the opportunity. Many times out stay here on earth ends much too quickly and not oft with any time to prepare ourselves. As far as that goes, we never have enough time to prepare ourselves for a loved ones passing. I can only hope your Mon does not have a lot of pain in her last days and if she does that she does not have to have it for long. My best wish (and I don't mean to sound harsh) is that she can pass peacefully in her sleep. I know that is what you and the family hope will happen, short of a miracle.

    My prayer for you is strength and peace delivered to you on the Wings of Angels.

    Love,

    Rebecca
    Nature is trying very hard to make us succeed, but nature does not depend on us. We are not the only experiment.
    - R. Buckminster Fuller

  4. #19
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    Rebecca,

    I will be there again tomorrow. Normally, it wouldn't be a problem during the weekdays, but I have been so sick that it is difficult to make it through the day at school. Bummer and bad timing on being sick... Hunter has the same crud as me which is not helping matters at all!

    http://www.covenanthospice.org/

    That is her hospice, and true to their mission, everything that they are doing is to insure that remaining hours and days are as comfortable and pleasant as possible. I am in awe as to how thoughtful they have been, but I guess they have seen this many more times than we have.

    They even give her 3 different kinds of anti-depressents. One improves her appetite and helps her enjoy the taste of food. The food provides her no nutrition. It is only feeding the cancer which has taken over her body, but it gives her the pleasure of feeling life is more normal.

    Mama's bedroom is filled with vases of roses and other flower bouquets. Some are beginning to fade, so before I viist tomorrow, I will go to the store and get some more for her. Mama and I agree on that very topic. Both of us would rather receive flowers before and not after....

    My fear was that my mother would panic as her time comes near, but it seems that the people at hospice know how to make that less likely.

    I am in awe at what they are doing for my Mom and my family. This is so sudden. We had no time to prepare and learn, so here they are teaching us, organizing all the medicines, educating us, getting everything to us Fed-EX and making sure that her needs are taking care of as best as possible. AWESOME!
    Ann B.
    Zone 9a
    Gulf Coast


  5. #20
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    Ann, I also pray that there will be minimal pain or suffering.
    Dave

  6. #21
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    Thank you, Dave!

    She will be in as little pain and discomfort as possible. Nurses are on call 24 hours per day, and they answer questions as to what to do if things change.

    This morning, Hunter and I both slept rather late, then went to Walmart for a few supplies. I checked out their potted and blooming Amarylllis. Some of the bulbs were HUGE, but I was not at all pleased with the health of the plants or the beauty of the flowers.

    Hunter sat in the car while I quickly went into Lowes. No potted Amarylllis and only the standards in stock, and just like I did at Walmart, I inspected each and every orchid.

    I had almost given up when I turned the corner and found another group of orchids. Then I spotted it, a colorful, large blooms and purple, not solid, but almost with lots of buds on three flower stems. Mama is allergic to many things, so I tried to smell it. Chances are, it could be very frangant and I could not smell it. Anyway, I took the chance and purchased this beautiful orchid for my Mom. I don't think she has ever had one before.

    When it was time for us to go, my Mom quickly found something else for me to do, something to delay my leaving. That's my Mom! I smiled and said, "Mama, we did that yesterday. Remember?" Of course, she had forgotten.

    I assure you that every thing that can be done to make her last moments more pleasureable is being done. The only thing that we can't do for her is to give her the strength to get out of bed and go to the restroom without assistance. That alone is telling her that something is very wrong, but she is doing okay, not great with it.
    Ann B.
    Zone 9a
    Gulf Coast


  7. #22
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    love


    (on the wings of angels)
    Attached Images  
    Nature is trying very hard to make us succeed, but nature does not depend on us. We are not the only experiment.
    - R. Buckminster Fuller

  8. #23
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    Ann, I continue to lift your names to The only One who can give your mom more than you can. I know He listens...I know He cares...I know His grace is sufficient. I keep reminding myself, for this is a hard season in my home as well. I truly hope your mother is given the gift of a pleasant Thanksgiving with your family so it will not forever be a holiday that brings sadness. She is so blessed to have you...I'm sure you feel that times 10 toward her. Sweet memories are still being made...isn't that amazing? Even in such a time.
    Patsy

  9. #24
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    Thank you.

    You are all such wonderful friends.

    This was not expected, so sudden, but the family and I are dealing with this as best we can.

    In one week's time, she went from being able to be helped to use the restroom, being able to talk on the phone, being able to respond to being talked to, until the last few days, nothing. She can only indicate pain... She did call my Aunt's name, "Ginger, Ginger, Ginger!" when the nurse had to move her to clean her.

    Since then, I have heard no words. She has responded with her eyes and facial expressions (minimal), but no more. What I see in her eyes is the plea for help and understanding.

    I pray with all my heart that she will make it until Thanksgiving Day. Unfortunately, Thanksgving, which was always a special day for her, will never be the same again. She hasn't been able to eat or drink in several days.

    This is so very hard and so very sudden. I was and am not ready for her death. So, all I can do is go there during the nights and watch what is left of her life.

    To be honest, a part of me is very angry. She has been in and out of the hospital for the last few years. A heart bypass, a pacemaker, pneumonia several times, broken shoulder, this and that, constant in and out of thospital. My question, why did they not detect this during all those other emergency room visits.

    I don't know.

    Thank you all for caring!!!!
    Ann B.
    Zone 9a
    Gulf Coast


  10. #25
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    Ann,

    I am so saddened that you are hurting so badly. As for why this wasn't found sooner, well, probably because this type of cancer can lay hidden and undetected for years as well as the fact that the on set can be so very sudden and be totally metastasized before there are any symptoms.

    My prayer is still for your Mom to not linger but to pass quickly and peacefully in her sleep with her family around her and with her while she is still able to know they are there.

    You all must allow yourselves to let go and to tell you Mom/sister/Aunt that it's OK for her to go. For He has prepared her a room in His Heavenly Mansion and is ready for her. There is nothing to fear for the Lord will be (and is) with her and she passes from this earthly plane onto the Spiritual plane where she will be restored to perfection and happiness.


    Ann, The Lord is with you as well and He will give you the strength to get through this and to heal from the sadness.

    Be at Peace, my friend, be at Peace,


    Rebecca
    Nature is trying very hard to make us succeed, but nature does not depend on us. We are not the only experiment.
    - R. Buckminster Fuller

  11. #26
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    Jun 2003
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    Ann ,
    I too am praying that your mother that she passes with no pain. I am praying for you that you can stay strong for Hunter when the time comes that she goes. Just remember that if you need a shoulder to cry on , we here are for you.
    Daylilies are the Lord's smile, a new one everyday

  12. #27
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    Ann- I feel for you. I cannot say anything more eloquently than others have said. I can share, as Hospice most likely has told you, that your Mother can hear you and if there is any special music that your Mother likes you might play that for her....A big hug for you and always-- prayer.
    "If I keep a green bough in my heart, a singing bird will come"




  13. #28
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    Ann, the suggestion of music is such a good one. I'll remember to share that with others.
    I so much dislike that this is happening at Thanksgiving.
    Though there's much to be thankful for my family isn't able to enjoy Thanksgiving. Owen was killed 3 years ago on the 19th, the Sunday night before Thanksgiving(19th). We buried him on Wednesday... the day before. It is a dreaded season. Just a few weeks of sweeter health would forever have been such a kind gift for your mom and your family. I KNOW the Lord knows what He's doing but that makes it no less harsh a reality. I KNOW you will be OK again one day ... but only because you have to be ... but I ALSO know that the thought of a turkey wearing pilgrim hat will likely always bring pain and tears. Already my prayer is for a day when your tears will be flooded out by sweet memories. For now the best you can do is just what you're doing, creating and gathering all you can. Your mother is very blessed and surely feels it each time you're near.

    Please dear Father, shower grace, peace and compassion...that these days will not be long or more difficult. AMEN
    Patsy

  14. #29
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    Mama passed away at 2am this morning. She was in a lot of pain at the end.

    Patsy, I don't know for sure, but I imagine that the funeral will be Wednesday. This all happened so very fast, but not nearly as suddenly as the death of your son or my brother. Still, I'm having difficulty accepting the fact that this has happened.

    Her pain is gone...
    Ann B.
    Zone 9a
    Gulf Coast


  15. #30
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    Ann,

    I am so sorry. Truly my heart aches and is breaking for you and I do (in my own experience) know what you are going through.



    For both you and Patsy who have so much sadness to deal with /if and it is a big IF you can look on this time of year as when your loved ones received their rewards for their time here on earth perhaps (in time) you will find reason to not be so sad when this particular holiday comes again.

    There is always going to be a day of seasonal importance (to us) that will be associated with the passing of a loved one, be it Thanksgiving, Christmas (my Grandma), Easter (my little brother) or ever Valentine's Day (My Grandpa), or something else of significance that we will associate with the passing of our loved ones. Would it not be better to rejoice and celebrate their lives and the time we had with them, no matter how short it might have been, then to dwell on the fact that they are no longer with us? They have reached that perfect place where all they know is happiness. They are once again joined with what we "see" as the body of Christ and of our Heavenly Father. What a joyous feeling that must be, to once again be a part of God as He is a part of us (here on earth)!

    Yes, we shall always miss them and we will become saddened when the anniversary of their passing from this earthly existence. But we should also be thankful for the happy memories we have and in knowing they are where we all really want to be and will be as soon as our brief period as this fragile being is over.


    Ann, I DO feel your pain and your anguish, but it will be alright. Your Mom is with the Lord and I can think of no better place to be

    May His Peace, that is beyond all understanding, fill you with His love.


    All my love,

    Rebecca
    Nature is trying very hard to make us succeed, but nature does not depend on us. We are not the only experiment.
    - R. Buckminster Fuller

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