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Thread: Something Strange - OT (hope that's okay)

  1. #1
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    Something Strange - OT (hope that's okay)

    This week is graduation exams. That means hours of testing every morning. I am one of the administrators of the tests, and I am using another teacher's classroom to test my homeroom students.

    As the week progressed, I noticed that my proctor was reading a book, and my 10th grade homeroom students who are tested with me are exceptionally well behaved.

    After two days of testing, I got really bored with just watching the students, so I looked at some books on the English teacher's desk. There was a book titled "Izzy Willy-Nilly". I read the description on the back and opened it. I began to read.

    I realize that I don't talk much about my personal life. I suppose that is because lp is escape from my problems those problems, who knows.

    But I wanted to share with you...

    My precious and most beloved grandmother, Mama Stella!

    Only a few months before this picture, I had taken photos of her in her new outfit with beautiful new shoes. She was so proud.

    As I read this book, I realize that, YES, it is horrible and so very hard to see this happen to an older person, but then I thought about tone of our 9th grade student who was in an accident and recently eventually died, and I thought about the trauma to our young students who visited their friend in the hospital, then they pulled the life support, and the young boy died.

    As I read this book, I reflect on age, and at it is so very hard to see young people who have never had a chance to experience life as it truly is, good or bad, have their normal lives ripped from them.

    Still, I realize that it happens, and I see it from time to time.

    One of my precious Uncles died last night, a heart attach (previous heart and back problems). I am sad, but I am reminded of those younger that never have a chance to experience life.

    I am sad.

    My precious grandmother... She came to live with me for awhile after the surgery went bad and she suddenly lost her legs. Such a wonderful spirit that she always had. She never felt sorry for herself and was strong and very determined.

    Special memoris...


    Ann B.
    Zone 9a
    Gulf Coast


  2. #2
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    Ann,

    Thank you for sharing the memory of your Grandma with us as well as the sadness of your Uncle's passing. Through sharing may your sorrow be lifted and you memories become even more dear. May you be filled with an inner peace that surpasses all (human) Understanding.

    May the Peace that is from Our Lord dwell in your heart.

    Blessed Be!

    Rebecca
    Nature is trying very hard to make us succeed, but nature does not depend on us. We are not the only experiment.
    - R. Buckminster Fuller

  3. #3
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    Ann- I, too, am sorry for your loss. I must tell you that as I scrolled to the photo , the first thing I noticed were the eyes and the tilt of the head, and I instantly thought, "Ann". You resemble your Grandmother and from your description of her- in more ways than one. God Bless you and yours
    "If I keep a green bough in my heart, a singing bird will come"




  4. #4
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    She looked so beautiful in the picture.... still having strength, and inner peace and calm.

    Thanks for sharing the picture with us. I am very touched.
    Dave

  5. #5
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    Thank you, Ann...it is through sharing that our hearts grow warmer, burdens lighter and friends draw closer. Isn't it wonderful that just the face of your sweet grand has spoken so much to so many? I pray the Lord will soon ease the pain of your loss so that it will no longer steal the smile that should be gracing your heart when memories of your uncle come to mind. I know full well that that takes time. Well meaning people so often say "Time heals all wounds" but that is so untrue. All time really does is force us to learn to life without what we want...without those we love. How we do that is our choice and how long it takes to become "comfortable" with that choice is also up to us. Grieve as long as you need while your cherished memories are fresh so they will be deeply imbedded in your heart and mind. That's where the joy will once again flow from. I so much agree that it seems less unkind when those who leave this world have been allowed to spend many long years here before moving on to the next. That was certainly one of my struggles in losing my son. Your profession puts you in a very vulnerable position and your many young students are certainly blessed to have your tender heart. I pray the Lord will will be covering your heart and home and family during these days.......
    Patsy

  6. #6
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    This may seem over-simplified, but I think that as time goes along, we need to sort everything that we have learned from good experiences and bad.

    Patsy, I cannot imagine losing a child. My heart broke when I first heard that from you.

    I guess that I am one of those people who does not deal well with death. I hear about a student from a nearby school being killed, and it makes me sad for days, just realizing how hard it must be for everyone.

    What do you do? How do you help someone in pain like that? How do you help a 14-15 year old who is experiencing death of a young friend so early in life.

    Anyway, I recommend reading the book. It reaches deep into the realm of 'what is a true friend'. You don't really know until you suddenly have a handicap. Ie., you are not NORMAL.

    I should read more, I think...
    Ann B.
    Zone 9a
    Gulf Coast


  7. #7
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    At my "more advanced age than most of y'all" I have seen the reaper visit more than I like to think about. Grandparents, parents, even two brothers, one before I even was and my younger brother when he was a high school senior. None were easy to deal with and all were tragic to some degree, but my brother's was the hardest to accept. So I know where you are coming from there Ann, and although I can not know the depths of what Patsy has gone through and still deals with I can sympathize with her. I have to believe that out Heavenly Father has had a most important job for the young people He takes from us, regardless of whose son or brother or even father they were here on earth.

    We are all here for only a measure of time; some to learn something we need for our next journey, others because we need to experience something we haven't yet been through that will open a door to where our next journey will take us. We are more than just the bodies our souls are housed in and when these vessels have served their purpose "we" move on. "We" are not restricted by a physical form and can (and I believe do) stay near loved ones to help them adjust to the next chapter in their lives.

    Time does not "heal", it is as Patsy said, it allows us to find that place where we are comfortable. Where we learn how to live again and we will do this many times over in our lives. Some will happen quickly, some will not. And somewhere along life's highways others will be put on the path next to us to help us through to the next chapter n this book we call Life.


    Rebecca
    Nature is trying very hard to make us succeed, but nature does not depend on us. We are not the only experiment.
    - R. Buckminster Fuller

  8. #8
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    Ladies, we're certainly on the same page. I don't see things as "good" or "bad" but rather as "kind" or "not so kind" to my heart. I know the Lord will one day use all these things, including the cancers, treatments, stemcell transplant , the "accident", even the horrendous fire and next week's court conclusion to somehow allow me to minister to others. I'll be great-full to have come so far, to be ready to somehow make a difference so that this will not have been wasted.

    Ann, you mentioned what you do/say to help someone. I can tell you without reservation that as my wonderful grandmother always said "least said is easiest mended". We so often feel we need to have answers and give direction. In reality, most of what is "normally" said is very hurtful and takes a long time to recover from. When grieving, what we often need most is for others to be willing to just be our companions WHEN and IF we need it. Days are long and nights are even longer...hundreds of them. As for me, I didn't want to "take something for it" because it meant losing even more, much more quickly. I've just needed time and patience and for the first time in my life I've had to learn to be just that...even with myself.

    I'm sorry, I got lost for a minute. After exactly 2 years 4 months we'll finally be in court next Thursday for sentencing. After that day I'm trusting we'll no longer be at the mercy of the nightmare being cruelly resurfaced for my family to have to re-live and once again begin recovery. The memories of a young man loved enough to draw almost 1000 broken people to his funeral should bring smiles and only tears of joy.

    I'm climbing off my soap-box now...going to my garden. Now you know why I spend so much time taking such HUGE pictures. They fill my eyes with kinder things so in the morning I'll hopefully be posting a 'Papilio' shot. Though she's only yet opened 2 blooms she's brightened my day like little else could.
    Patsy

  9. #9
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    "We are nearest to God when we kneel in our gardens."

    A very simple sentence yet crammed full of meaning and for those who believe, so very true. A "garden" can be as simple as a table top with a few potted plants on it. Being "in the garden", regardless of the size or even the condition, one is filled with a sense of peace and calm that is hard to find any place else.

    Even Jesus went "to the garden" to be closer to The Father. . . .



    Patsy, you KNOW I will be holding you and your family in my heart and my prayers are will all of you for a judicious decision and for the strength and peace all will need to accept it, and, yes, even for "the other person and his family".

    Rebecca
    Nature is trying very hard to make us succeed, but nature does not depend on us. We are not the only experiment.
    - R. Buckminster Fuller

  10. #10
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    Sometimes words help, other times they hurt.
    Sometime words reduce the pain, other times they intensify it.
    To those of faith, scriptures help
    To those without faith, scripture adds another dimension of pain

    It is difficult to know when to let go, but sooner or later our own survival depends on accepting all of life.



    http://www.greatdanepromilitary.com/Life/index.htm
    Tom W
    Aching Back Farm

  11. #11
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    Oh, Tom! I can always count on you as one of the best friends I ever had...

    Izzy Willy-Nilly is going to be on this year's reading list for freshman. Just as I finished reading the last few chapters, I closed the paperback and heard the bleep, Tom had posted.

    When I clicked on the link, I was in awe. Everything that was being displayed was the same as the message in the book that I was just reading.

    Thank you, Tom!

    I think that we can never really close the door on our friends and loved ones who are gone, but I do know one thing for sure is that they would all wish for us to be happy, and live on, so to speak.

    High school graduation exam week is always a tough one. 9th graders do nothing all morning except for those taking the Biology exam. They seem to think that the rest of the day is free time, but it's not.

    When Friday's exams were over, we had to evacuate the buildings. Someone, probably a wondering student, had entered a classroom with a newly installed phone and called 911 with a bomb threat.

    At least, it was not raining and not overly hot this time, and most of the students did not appreciate the inconvenience. It definitely was NOT a fun time to stand outside waiting for the alarms to go off.

    I have to admit, though, that despite having a cold or whatever, it was a good week. My sophmore homeroom was the best ever. Even after all had completed their tests, they sat quietly waiting for those testing in rooms around us to complete their tests.

    OMG! This is the first time that I have picked up a novel to read since I began teaching. And, surprisingly, as I carried the book with me to my cafteria hall duty, the students were so quiet, not wishing to disturb my reading as they went to the restroom. I never dared read a book or anything else before, but somehow the students seemed to respect the fact that my voice was gone, and I was reading.

    All in all, it was a very good week, and I must say that as a teacher, I insist that we spend too much time testing and not enough teaching.

    Thanks, Tom! And, Patsy, my heart goes with you into that courtroom.

    Patsy, You need to read this book. There is a good message at the end, and we can talk about it (PM).

    Hugs!
    Ann B.
    Zone 9a
    Gulf Coast


  12. #12
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    My heart goes out to you Anne and Pasty! I too have lost my parents and grandparents. The loss that still tears me up was my mom. I still think I should be able to pick up the phone and call her just to talk. The students in a school over in Hillsboro County lost a firiend in a plane crash this last week. He was a very popular student and had many friends.
    Daylilies are the Lord's smile, a new one everyday

  13. #13
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    Ann, I'm continuing to remember you in prayer as you move closer to being able to enjoy the memories of your uncle and precious grandmother. Mine was the absolute best and I'm glad they both seemed to have had the same spunk and character. We've a lot to live up to. I'm also glad to be ready and able to read again so after next week I'll be looking up the book you recommended. We'll gleen it's treasures together PM to PM.
    Rebecca, thank you for remembering to pray for the family of the defendant. I even ask you to remember him in your prayers. I'm not sure I told you that he injured one of his own cousins, and killed (though not burned) another that night. All those families, though their sons were at fault, concern us as well. The day will come when I forgive him...only because the choice is not mine. For now I can't even imagine but know the Lord would not require it of me if I were not capable.
    Tom, your encouragement is appreciated. I do wish acceptance was the key. That is something long ago accomplished. Peace, joy and normalcy are our goals. Problem is that we have no control over the dozen or so legal, government, dental and medical offices that visit our lives at will re-opening every wound over and over. We'd have to be zombies to be unaffected by all this. Hopefully this Thursday will at least begin to put an end to that. Separation from the constant reminders of violence and destruction is what my family needs. There is much in the link you provided that is calming and comforting. I thank you for it.
    D Dawn, thank you also for your thoughtful words. All my elderly family is gone but my mother who had lived with me (over 5 yrs) from my dad's death until my son's cancer was discovered. I can only imagine the unfillable crater yours has left. Thank you also for letting us know about the student gone. I will be praying for his family. I'm great-full he had many friends. They will comfort each other and bring some small measure to his family. About 1000 people were at Owen's funeral, quite a testament to the character of a barely 27 yr old. He, and we were well loved.

    Landspro is a wonderful family of caring people. I've always believed that people who spend time on their knees in the garden often have their knees bowed for more reason than one. Have a good night my friends.....
    Patsy

  14. #14
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    I want to thank you all for the many kind words of encouragement and for keeping my family in your hearts through yesterday. Most importantly, huge thanks to those who prayed. We can hardly imagine what the morning would've been like otherwise. The second most difficult day in our lives...finally past...brought a maximum penalty for the person who killed my son exactly (2yrs 4mos earlier) of 13 years. Had he not fled the scene he'd have most likely only have been given 3. A huge weight has been lifted for us but certainly not for him. My heart goes out to him and his family. You see my family (at least most) doesn't seek vindication but rather to see him discover the value of his own life so he'll better respect the living of others. This is a hard lesson but not nearly as difficult as ours. The best we can do is pray for his loss as well.

    My other son is military and unreachable. We hope to hear from him, maybe even see him, the end of March . Once he gets the report and is able to come to terms with it, my whole family will have the last of the worst behind us. I pray the memories will become kind rather than hurtful.

    Going to now spend the today with my wonderful visiting grandson (21 mos). Think he should be a heart surgeon one day....he sure works miracles on mine.

    Thank you again. I hope your day is blessed

    ------------- and Rebecca, please forgive my 'O' color, just for comfort.
    Patsy

  15. #15
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    Patsy,

    What hurt my eyes while reading your message was not "Owen's Special Color", it was tears that stung as I read - both what was typed and what was left un-said.

    I can't say as I think much about the Georgia Laws and Sentencing Guidelines for Vehicular Manslaughter or DUI resulting in a death (whatever Elliot was charged with), but I am thankful this ordeal is over for you and your family.

    Granted 12-13 years is not much time to be locked up and away from one's family, yet the harsher punishment will be that Elliot will have the memory of what his actions caused and that they resulted not only in the death of a "stranger", but also in the death of a friend and the serious injury of another. He will also miss out on seeing his infant son grow up and the pain of knowing he will not be present will haunt him even more. The State imposed punishment is not much, but the self imposed punishment of the memories and the knowledge of what he did and how it affected so many lives, and will continue to affect so many lives including his own is far harsher punishment.

    I will continue to keep your family as well as all families affected by the tragic death of your son, Owen, in my heart.

    GOD'S GARDEN

    God looked around His Garden
    and found an empty place.
    He then looked down upon His earth
    and saw your tired face. He put His
    arms around you, and lifted you to rest.
    God's Garden must be beautiful;
    He only takes the best. He knew you
    were suffering, He knew you were in
    pain. He knew that you would never
    get well on earth again. He saw that
    the road was getting rough and the
    hills were hard to climb. So He closed
    your weary eyelids and Whispered
    "Peace be thine."
    It breaks our hearts to lose you, but
    you didn't go alone. For part of us
    went with you, The Day God Called You Home.


    "Peace be Thine, Patsy and all who have been and continue to be affect by this tragedy.


    Rebecca
    Nature is trying very hard to make us succeed, but nature does not depend on us. We are not the only experiment.
    - R. Buckminster Fuller

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