+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: Returning after a 6 month abscence

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    Southern Oregon
    Posts
    80

    Returning after a 6 month abscence

    Hi Everyone;

    I thought it was time that I came out of hiding and let you know what has been going on with me. My husband committed suicide last July 25th. I found him that Friday morning in our guest bedroom. He shot himself through the head! This was sudden and TOTALLY unexpected!!! He didn't leave any note as to why he did it! I don't even have a clue! It's been a nightmare lately. I did email Ann a few months ago, so she didn't think I had left the group. I've also been in touch with Rebecca. Both of these wonderful ladies have been a great help to me! I've done a lot of "lurking" here on the forums during the past few months and it's helped me to keep my sanity. You are all such knowledgable and helpful people, and I've been running into so many problems and questions about getting a greenhouse put up and my 'Lil Backyard Nursery business going, faster than originally planned. I feel the information that I need, I will find right here, plus the encouragement! I feel so inadequate and at such a loss, I can't seem to make any final decisions. I need your help, please.
    Linda-So. Oregon, Zones 6/7

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    Zone 9a - Gulf Coast
    Posts
    9,934
    Linda,

    I have missed you, and I am glad you are feeling like talking about it now! Talking about it always helps....

    Try contacting Silver Vista. She is a member of Landspro and she lives somewhere in your area and is heavily experienced and trained in Greenhouse and Nursery production, and she can probably give you some personal insight.

    Sometimes, we have to face the fact that we may never know or understand why things happen the way they do, but we still have to deal with them in the best way that we know how. There are some things that we just have to accept without understanding them.

    Your situation is an extremely difficult one, and my heart goes out to you and your family.

    My temporary lean-to and little greenhouse are getting a real test tonight as the temperatures go down to well below freezing. It is now 40 degrees in my patio, and my ceramic heaters do not work anymore, so I am dependent on the kerosene to heat a very large space. We will see...

    For now, pretend that we are all holding hands, in support of one another, and praying that life will get better from day to day.

    I am learning to focus on the positive and learn from the negative aspects of life.

    Hang in There!

    Love YA!
    Ann B.
    Zone 9a
    Gulf Coast


  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    Southern Oregon
    Posts
    80
    Thank you Ann for your kind and caring words. They mean a lot to me.

    I sure wish my daughter, son-in-law and 3 grandchildren lived closer to me, instead of 1,700 miles away. I'm just trying to take this one day at a time and not be overwhelmed with all I have to take care of, plus trying to get my nursery business going. My father-in-law is repeatedly asking me for reasons as to why his son did this, and it's really getting to me, as I don't have any answers!

    I did email Silver Vista and she emailed me back today. She has offered to help me with what she can. That was thoughtful of her to offer to help me out where possible. She lives about 2 1/2 hours north/east of me.

    I'm trying to focus on the positive aspects of getting my nursery business going, but I keep running into "snafoos"! I found out that the used greenhouse I bought 1 1/2 years ago, is useless and won't pass inspection!!! The people I bought it from were involved in a lawsuit against Four Seasons Greenhouses and KNEW it was garbage!!! I have found a poly sheeting greenhouse I could afford, but today found out that that since it is non-coded, I couldn't get the permit to put it up! Now I'm back to trying to find a 20' X 40' or 24' X 40' poly sheeting one that will be allowed here! I had hoped to have it all set up before March, but the way things have been going, I'm not too sure that will happen. I keep trying though!
    Linda-So. Oregon, Zones 6/7

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    Zone 9a - Gulf Coast
    Posts
    9,934
    Linda,

    Just hang in there and do your best to stay positive. I know that must be hard to do, but it should help.

    It must be terribly difficult for your in-laws, and I can understand their asking you those questions. They are in search of understanding just like you.

    Regarding your greenhouse, what was the flaw in your greenhouse? It looked so nice in the pictures. I would love to find a deal like that just so that I could extend my patio area.

    I had hoped to purchase the Atlas greenhouse that we talked about last year, but their web special is no longer available. That means I am doing what I can manage to do with the time I have available which is very little.

    Take care, hang in there, and look forward to spring! I am!
    Ann B.
    Zone 9a
    Gulf Coast


  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    northeast Tennessee
    Posts
    1,703
    Linda, I am so sorry to hear about your husband. My prayers will be with you and your family.
    Any help we can give you just ask. Good luck on the greenhouse. Isn't red tape wonderful? Just keep your faith and stay determined. Let us know how it goes.
    tennessee sue

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    Western Michigan near Muskegon
    Posts
    1,462
    Linda,
    So Very Sorry to hear about your pain and anguish. I cannot imagine going through such heartache. Take it one day at a time, 1 hour at a time if need be. Please don't be afraid to get professional help if you need it. I'm still working on my dreams for the third year now, still no greenhouse. But lots of cuttings in propagation beds and building up my mother plants. Collecting pots and trays, compost and soil amendments, fertilizers, etc. Hang in there and keep plugging away!
    Happy Growing,
    Vicki in West. Mich.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    Southern Oregon
    Posts
    80
    Ann;
    I've been doing more checking into the poly sheeting greenhouse. A couple of days ago I went to a lady's house to see her greenhouse that's the same size I wanted. She only lives a few miles from me, so I knew I could find out a lot of what was required in my area. She didn't get a permit for hers, but then again you can't see it from the road and she doesn't have a raunchy neighbor like I do, that would turn her in in a second! I also found out that she pays $150/month in propane usage to heat it! Plus the electricity for the hot water heater, lights and inflation blower. She told me that you can't water your seedlings and plants with cold water right from the well, that you need the tepid water! Then because of the suspended water pipes, you have to keep the greenhouse heated enough so the pipes don't freeze! This is getting too expensive for me each month! This is her 5th year and the greenhouse business will finally start paying for itself! I'm working on other ways I will be able to work around all this, like using a spare bedroom in the house for starting plants and growing seedlings, using house heat, heating mats and lights on wire shelving. It's the only room in the house with a south-facing window. I'm still working it. I've even thought about enclosing most of my back patio, but it faces east and won't get any more sun after noon.

    For those who haven't seen the used greenhouse I bought 1 1/2 years ago, that's useless, it's now on page 4 of the Greenhouse and Nursery Production message board. I found out that the lawsuit was about faulty glass. Even though the seals were good holding the panes of glass in, water was getting in through the glass panes and they were filling up with water in between the double panes! Faulty glass! I'm wondering if I could have someone make me some cold frames with it. Haven't checked into that yet. Sure would hate to just take it all to recycling, as I was told to do!!!


    Sue Salley;
    Thank you for your prayers! I know they work! I appreciate the offer of help that I may need. I've been trying to find out a lot of the answers myself, by talking to the lady near me that has a greenhouse like what I was seriously considering. There will be other problems and questions I will have, I am sure, that I will post on these message boards once I decide on how I'm going to get all this started, without a greenhouse. Thank you again!


    Vicki;
    Thank you for your caring words. I appreciate it. I do have professional help with all of this. Because of my anxiety/panic disorder, I've been on medications and seeing psychiatrists and counselors for the last 13 years. My psychiatrist recently tested me for ADD and found that I can add that to my list of defects! LOL Now that I'm living alone, it makes it all the harder. However, I do have my two dogs, which have helped me to keep things together and sane. They need me and I need them. It's a great trade-off!

    Sounds like you're on a roll there! Keep up all that wonderful work! I'm sure it will all be worth it!
    Linda-So. Oregon, Zones 6/7

+ Reply to Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts